


Going Down

by paperduck



Category: Takarazuka Revue
Genre: M/M, Shangri-la
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperduck/pseuds/paperduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Within a second Kai felt strong hands grab him and stop the fall. “Be careful,” Ice hissed at him.<br/>“Why do you lie to me?!” Kai accused the other, bringing his fists up to hit the other’s broad shoulders. “Sora would never leave me behind. What did you do to him?” Kai exclaimed.<br/>“Stop trying to hurt me.” Ice grabbed Kai’s wrists firmly.<br/>They kept silent for a moment, Kai was breathing heavily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Down

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the characters, just borrowed them to add something I found was there in the show but not explicitly told.  
> Keep in mind that I do not understand the spoken dialogue, so I am not using the original words in the scenes I took from the show. This is what I imagined they could say to make my story work.  
> Please enjoy, and don't forget to comment.

Going down

“Where did he go?”  
“He left. I already told you.”  
“I don’t believe you!” Kai turned towards where he expected Ice to be.  
“It’s true. I could not stop him.” Ice said, his voice bare of any emotions.  
For a moment Kai said nothing. “You never tried to stop him,” he screamed and his palm hit the wall that he used to guide him.  
Ice clenched his fists knowing Kai would not see his level of distress. He waited a moment so his voice wouldn’t betray him “I did try to convince him.” It was easy to hide the emotions on his face when the other could not see him, but Kai would never miss any nuance in his voice.  
Suddenly Kai left the security of the wall and rushed at Ice, not bothering if obstacles would block his way. He was furious and in a fit of irrational anger he wanted to punish him for the lies he was telling. He ran into something, a chair maybe, and stumbled.  
Within a second Kai felt strong hands grab him and stop the fall. “Be careful,” Ice hissed at him.  
“Why do you lie to me?!” Kai accused the other, bringing his fists up to hit the other’s broad shoulders. “Sora would never leave me behind. What did you do to him?” Kai exclaimed.  
“Stop trying to hurt me.” Ice grabbed Kai’s wrists firmly.  
They kept silent for a moment, Kai was breathing heavily.  
“Sora left because he does not believe in our cause anymore. He wouldn’t listen to reason.”  
Kai felt the other’s cold hands and goosebumps crept up his arms. Why did Sora, his strong older brother he had always relied on, leave without even saying goodbye? He had sensed for a while that Sora and Ice didn’t get along anymore. But he had tried to ignore it, convinced himself that it was a phase and would pass without affecting him. Deep within his heart he had known that – should he be forced to decide for one’s side – he couldn’t do it. But he hated when other’s thought him weak and made decisions over his head. “I’m not a child. I’m not weak! Why does everyone keep the information from me? I hate you. Both of you,” he spat. Then he broke loose and turned around, feeling the urge to cry. He knew he was helpless without someone he could trust – and he hated it.  
Ice resisted the temptation to hug the younger man. Whatever his place was at his side, showing support and even affection had never been his part. Touching his shoulder or even his hip to guide him somewhere was one thing and sometimes even necessary, but hugging him was out of question.  
“Mizore, take Kai back to his rooms,” Ice ordered.  
“Hai,” the young woman answered with a straight face. Whatever she thought about their exchange, nobody could tell.  
Mizore placed one arm around Kai’s back and lead him from the room.

As soon as he was alone Ice placed both palms on the table in front of him and bent forward. Showing signs of weakness in front of other didn’t happen, but when he was alone he sometimes wondered if he had chosen the right way. He had felt like doing a good thing, until Sora began to question things. He respected Sora. But when the other decided to turn against him he fought. And so when Sora confronted him he saw red and attacked.  
Ice didn’t understand why Sora would leave Kai with him.  
In the beginning Ice had been against taking a blind boy with them. But Sora had stubbornly insisted not to part with his brother. He had become a good fighter and so Ice had accepted Kai as a part of their group.  
And after a while Kai had begun to trust him. When Sora had been out on a mission Kai had come looking for Ice to keep him company. Ice would never admit it, but he would have hated it had Sora taken Kai away from him. He had begun to need the other’s calm presence to clear his head.

Kai sat in his room. The room was probably dark. Mizore had left quickly after dropping him off. Not that he had wanted her to stay anyway. He still felt hurt to be left behind and to be lied to. Now that he was alone he let the tears fall. He wasn’t sad; he was angry, furious that he could do nothing about it. And he missed Sora. They had never been apart for more than two or three days in their lives. He was worried something might happen to his brother and he’d never find out.

There came a knock on the door. Kai wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.  
“Come in,” he said calmly.  
He knew without the other saying one word that it was Ice who now opened the door.  
Kai heard the soft click of the light switch and the almost inaudible humming of energy. “Turn off the lights.”  
A short hesitation before the soft click came once more.  
“Come in and close the door.”  
When the lock snapped the room became silent as a grave. The unspoken questions were hanging in the air.  
Kai waited.  
“Why do you want me to be in the dark?”  
“It’s my room – my territory – I want us to be even.” Kai explained.  
“May I come closer?” Ice felt insecure. He rarely relied on his senses other that his sharp sight.  
“You may.”  
Ice slowly reached out with his hands, he knew what the room looked like and so when his hands met the wall he knew where to go. But it was hard to judge the distances without seeing.  
“Listen, I came to apologize…” Ice started.  
“Don’t do it unless you’re serious about it.”  
For a moment Ice kept silent. Kai seemed to be much more self-confident in the dark. “I am serious. I don’t want you to hate me.”  
“Then stop lying. That’s all I want. I can take the truth, I’m not a child.” Kai walked around the room. He knew everything in here, he didn’t need to see to move around without being careful about his steps.  
“Sora left because we disagreed. I don’t know where he went or if he’ll ever come back,” Ice said, not bothering to keep his voice calm.  
“And you’re mad at him,” Kai observed.  
“You bet I am!”  
Kai’s hand touched Ice’s arm. When Ice didn’t move away Kai stepped in front of him and grabbed this other arm with his second hand. “Will you fight him?”  
“If that is what it comes to…”  
“Even if I don’t want it?” Kai pressed his forehead against Ice’s chest.  
“Your opinion on this doesn’t matter. The cause is more important than your feelings – or mine.” Ice added the last almost as an afterthought. His arms went around the smaller man protectively. In the privacy of his room, in the darkness where nobody could see them he felt he was allowed to do it.  
“I hate the thought of you and Sora fighting each other,” Kai mumbled.  
“The most important thing is to protect Shangri-la. And I will do whatever it takes to achieve this aim. And if it means I have to die doing it, I will,” Ice said. It sounded well-rehearsed. Sometimes in the early hours of morning, when he couldn’t sleep and his thoughts began to wander he doubted his resolutions. But he had until now never failed to convince himself that it was right what he was doing.  
Kai’s fingers dug into Ice’s arms as his grip tightened. He knew there were things more important than a human life or two, but he had survived too many dangers not to value a life. He had learned the hard way that saving hundreds of lives was more important than to save one no matter how dear the person was… it had been okay – as long as they had all stood on the same side. He knew how Sora’s mind had changed. They had talked sometimes. Kai had found himself arguing inside his head if he should take a side or convince Sora he was mistaken or simply follow his brother.  
“Would you sacrifice my life for the cause?” Kai suddenly asked.

 

Ice opened his mouth to speak but no words came. His first impulse was saying ‘yes’, but a tiny voice inside his chest screamed ‘no’.  
“Why are you hesitating?” Kai was surprised. He had expected an ‘of course’ – simple and clear. He had wanted to hear it to break this spell, he felt himself drawn to the tall man and he was unable and unwilling to leave his embrace. But he knew he had to, they couldn’t stand like this forever. Hyou or Mizore were going to look for them and…  
“I should go,” was Ice’s short answer. His arms fell limply to his sides.  
“Yes…” Kai suddenly felt cold, he took a step back. “Yes, of course.”

“Ice, wait!”  
The one spoken to turned around. Kai stood on top of the stairs.  
“Where are you going?”  
“It’s none of your business.” Ice exclaimed.  
“Take me with you!” Kai took a step down the stairs, his hands feeling around for the guardrail.  
“Stay where you are!” Ice ran up the stairs and grabbed Kai’s shoulders. He pushed the younger man backwards until he was in safe distance from the stairs.  
“Don’t leave!” Kai’s arms went around Ice’s waist.  
This action startled Ice. “But, I have to go… they’re going to attack the palace…” his surprise made his voice soft.  
“I know…” Kai whispered.  
For a long moment they did not say a word.  
Then Kai said “I had a dream…”  
“Honestly, I don’t have time to chat with you now.” Ice shook Kai off and turned around to leave.  
“No, listen. I dreamt that you died,” Kai reached out to grab Ice’s arm and managed to take hold of his wrist.  
“…” Ice took a deep breath, “If that’s going to be my destiny… fear won’t stop me.”  
Kai embraced the other from behind; the cloth of his coat was rough on his cheek.  
Ice turned once more and took hold of Kai’s upper arm. “Let me get you back to your rooms.”  
Meekly Kai let the other lead him through the cold corridors. The clicking of their heels echoed from the walls. Again Kai whished he was able to see, he sensed the other was feeling troubled and he wanted to be able to read his face like he could read his voice. He knew wouldn’t get an answer if he asked.  
Ice held the door to his rooms open until Kai had walked through. “Please be reasonable and stay here.”  
Kai stretched out his hand and grabbed the first thing he reached which was the front of Ice’s coat. He pulled him forward and with his other hand pushed the door shut.  
Ice felt irritated when suddenly his world was once more plunged into darkness. “Kai, what are you doing? Don’t be a stubborn child now, I have to go.”  
Without hesitation Kai lifted his hands to touch Ice’s face, “I’ve always wondered what you look like.”  
When Ice opened his mouth to speak, Kai covered his lips with one finger.  
“I won’t keep you from challenging destiny. Just grant me a few minutes… that’s not too much I’m asking for in regard that this might be the last time…”  
“Kai, please…”  
“You know it’s the truth, don’t deny it.” Kai’s hands lay on the other’s cheeks once more. “I can feel it in the way your muscles are moving under my fingers that you fight against tears.”  
The words ‘this is nonsense’ almost slipped from Ice’s lips, but he knew Kai wouldn’t believe it. He was forced to trust his instincts and his other senses… it was so easy to deceive oneself if you only believed what you saw and closed your eyes about what you didn’t like.  
“Ice… why don’t you surrender?”  
Ice gave a dry laugh. “You know I’d rather die.”  
“Am I going to die with you?” Kai leaned closer.  
“I’m hoping to prevent it… that’s why I need to go.”  
Kai bit onto his lower lip before he requested “Hold me one last time.”  
“What?”  
Ignoring the other’s question Kai threw his arms around his shoulders and pressed his mouth onto his. Ice’s arms went around the other, his embrace almost crushing the fragile body against his. This was not the time to wonder, it was a time to just act and feel. There could be a time to deal with the consequences. But more likely there would be simply no time at all. It was too late to lament about wasted time and missed opportunities – it was now or never. And so their kisses weren’t shy and hesitating but heated and almost violent.  
Ice didn’t need to think about it when Kai took his hand and lead him away from the door deeper into the dark room.

The knocking on the door was urgent. “Kai? Ice? Are you in there?” Mizore’s voice was muffled by the wood.  
Ice got up and pulled on his coat. He opened the door and blinked when the corridor’s lights fell into his eyes.  
“I need to talk to you, it can’t wait,” whatever Mizore thought, it didn’t matter now.  
Ice stepped into the corridor and closed the door behind him “Tell me.”  
They walked away from the door.  
Kai got up from the bed and rushed to get dressed. He followed them, his hands feeling around the wall so he wouldn’t miss the turn.

“Kai…”  
He turned into the direction of Ice’s voice. “I went to search for you.”  
“You should have stayed in your room.”  
“I‘m not a coward!” Kai told him fiercely.  
They kept silent, Kai reached for the balustrade in front of him, calculating where he was by feeling for the familiar dents Sora had made in the metal to give Kai orientation.  
“Is it true, Hyou is dead?” Kai asked.  
“Hm,” Ice’s footsteps moved away from Kai.  
“And Sora killed him?” he was hoping Ice would deny it.  
“Yes.” Ice began to walk down the stairs.  
“So… are you going to kill Sora now?” Kai made to follow him.  
Ice hesitated before he said, “Yes.”  
“Why?!” Kai exclaimed.  
“There is no other way. He’s a danger for the cause… he’s a danger for us.” Ice called out.  
“You got it wrong!”  
“He doesn’t support the cause anymore. He thinks we’re doing the wrong thing, he wants to stop me, no matter what!”  
“No, Ice… you are wrong. I’m sure he has good a plan. My brother’s going to save us. He won’t want to kill you.”  
“But he will!” Ice shouted.  
“My brother respects you, that is why he needed to leave, he…” Kai had reached the bottom of the stairs as well.  
“Shut up! What do you know?”  
The sound of bullets could be heard in the distance, it seemed to come from somewhere inside the castle and Kai felt scared for a moment, covering his ears.  
Mizore entered the hall “Sora and his men have overpowered the guard.”  
“Please, I don’t want my dream to become reality,” Kai said walking over to where she supposed Ice would stand. But Ice evaded him so he walked past him. “If you want to fight Sora until one of you dies, you can kill me now. I don’t want to experience it.”  
“Kai!” Ice’s voice was for once full of emotion.  
The sound of bullets came again, much closer this time. Kai covered his ears to block out the sound.

“Kai!” Sora had entered the hall.  
Irrationally happy to hear his voice Kai moved towards him “Brother!”  
But Ice grabbed Kai’s arm before he was even close to Sora and pulled him back harshly. He suddenly felt a fierce possessiveness he had never before experienced. Kai fell to the ground.  
Ice pointed his gun at him “Don’t come any closer,” he warned Sora.  
“Leave him out of this, I came to talk, not to fight you.” Sora said rather calmly.  
“That’s why you brought along your army?” Ice mocked him. “You can’t waltz in here and take the water, I won’t let you!”  
“Think about it,” Sora asked Ice.  
He pointed his gun at Sora instead.  
“Why?”  
Ice felt the muscles in his arm begin to shake. What was he doing, he had no intention to kill Sora. He bit onto his lip.  
“Remember your ideas. Is this really the Shangri-la you imagined? It has turned against us. Are you truly happy? Your plans were brave and daring but they went wrong at some point. I think I found a way to correct it!” Sora spoke, ignoring the gun aimed at his chest.  
Kai sat on the ground, torn between the wish to rush to Sora’s side and the longing to be close to Ice.  
“Shut up! You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Ice shouted. “You can’t even imagine what I had to sacrifice for all of this!”  
“Then stop here and listen to me!” Sora clutched his weapon to his chest. “Kai,” he addressed his brother, “you’re going to listen to me. Come with me, we can start a new life together.”  
Ice felt a cold fist closing around his heart when he saw Kai’s face, the younger man moved slightly towards Sora. ‘No!’ a voice inside Ice’s head scream, ‘don’t take him away from me!’ The hand holding his gun that he had lowered just seconds ago snapped up again.  
“Ice, I owe you so much, take a moment to look inside your heart, let’s settle this peacefully!” Sora said.  
Ice lowered his hand once more “Sora…” his voice was low, “I wish you’d understand me…” 

It happened suddenly and faster than anybody could react. Ice’s hand jerked upwards while he shouted “I can’ give this up!” and he pulled the trigger without really meaning to.  
Kai felt the pain before he had fully realized he had gotten up from the floor. He didn’t understand what had just happened or why the sounds suddenly got muffled.  
“Kai!” Sora screamed.  
He stumbled backwards, unable to concentrate on anything but the pain bringing him to his knees once more. There where hands on his shoulders, forcing him into one direction – away from Sora? Away from Ice? Who was it, leading him away?

Ice pointed his gun at Sora, whose face was a grimace of rage.  
Sora was ready to attack and screamed while rushing towards Ice.  
Another shot echoed through the hall. It missed.  
Sora grabbed Ice’s arm and wrenched the gun from his hand. He pointed the gun at Ice after shoving him to the ground.  
“Ice!” Sora exclaimed. “Give up, I don’t want to kill you.”  
A sound somewhere between laugh and sob broke free from Ice’s throat.  
“Why are you laughing?” Sora asked him bewildered.  
“There’s no other place on earth for me.” Ice was on his hands and knees now. “I can’t go anywhere from here!” He shouted.  
“Don’t be so stubborn.” Sora said.  
Ice stared up at him for a moment. Yes, he wanted to believe him, he wanted Sora to solve all this. But it was going to happen without him. How could he ever forgive himself that he had hurt, maybe even killed Kai? There was only one thing left to do for him.  
Ice grabbed the weapon lying next to him and leapt to his feet.

Kai heard the shouting voices, the pain was distracting him, he couldn’t understand them. But their agitation was clear. He was scared.  
“Sora, watch this!” Ice screamed.  
Then he heard the gunfire followed by the sound of dripping water.

Ice watched the water seep through the bullet holes in the dam, water covered his boots and the gurgling sounds became louder each second. He watched Mizore take a place next to him. He nodded at her, admiring her braveness and volition to die with him. 

“What’s happening?” Kai asked.  
A soft female voice spoke up next to him “Ice is shooting down the dam…”  
“What?! But that’s suicide…” Kai mumbled.  
“Sora!” the woman next to Kai suddenly screamed.  
Then the noise of rushing water drowned out every other sound. 

When Kai woke up the pain was still there, stronger than before, but it wasn’t important anymore. He felt it, Ice was gone and with him Kai’s will to be strong.  
“Kai!” Sora pulled him into his arms. “Kai, can you hear me?”  
Kai grabbed one of Sora’s hands with his. “Tell me, is it over?”  
“Yes,” Sora answered.  
“He released the water from the tank?”  
“Yes.”  
“That’s good,” Kai murmured, he stopped fighting against the pain. “Brother… the water… keep on protecting it… will you?”  
Sora’s hand was shaking. He held Kai’s body close to his, willing him stay alive. “I will.”  
“Thank you,” Kai whispered. His hand reached out for Sora’s face. His face gave away the extent of pain he was experiencing just then. “Sora…” he wailed before his body grew limp.  
‘No, no, noooooo!’ The voice inside Sora’s head kept on repeating. This just couldn’t happen. It felt like an invisible cord was pulled tight around Sora’s throat, he couldn’t breathe and almost choked on his own tears. “KAI!” he screamed. He felt broken, he had sworn to protect his brother and had failed another time… he had lost him because of his foolish and rash actions.  
He slowly got to his feet and just walked - towards the water that he blamed for everything. He ignored Miyu’s voice calling his name in growing panic… nothing mattered anymore. It was over…


End file.
